The housegroup picnic, lovely sunday afternoon.

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Don’t Judge A Book By It’s Cover.

All over the BBC and international news are sensational stories. Gareth Williams the MI6 agent who was found dead in a bag. The rioters, the X list celebs we can’t stand. Four weeks ago I did some court reporting, I went along to see Laura Johnson stand trial for rioting, she was involved in the riots in Catford and the surrounding areas. I wanted to see her go to jail and be punished for coming into Catford where I live and ruining my well-being. It opened my eyes. What you read in the papers is not the whole truth, you get the sanitation, the edited version, what you read is not what you see. I went along to see justice done,I did see justice done Laura and her cohorts were found guilty and will be punished, but I don’t hate her anymore, I’m not annoyed with her anymore, she has a story as we all do. I listened to the most personal parts of her life, whether she liked it or not and I saw the complex human being that she is as we all are. I like her.
I went to the inquest of Gareth Williams, the spy and listened to his friends and family talk about him, he was a real person who lived a boring normal life and died in extraordinary circumstances but he was just like me and you. Weird, normal, boring. And he liked being tied up.

I like “My thing” It’s a secret, unless I die and it’s found out. No chance.

If you are interested in a prominent court case and have the day off go to the trial, you can go to any court room in the land, go to the public gallery and have a front row seat. I’m not saying you are going to end up liking everybody, but you may surprise yourself. Turn your phone off in court though, or you could end up in the dock yourself.
The saying “Never judge a book by its cover” has never for me been more real.

He threatened her, he beat her, he raped her. But first he said he LOVED HER!

The twelve days of Christmas are well and truly behind us now, but on the twelfth  day you are meant to bless your house and hope that this is going to be a safe and happy year for most, It was meant to be the day that the Three Wise Kings turned up to worship Jesus in his manger.  Some theologists’ believe  that it could have even been at least 2  years before the wise men turned.

I can’t identify a man I saw the other day,  but I can say that he used to beat his wife in front of their child she eventually left him,  I know this because I saw her in Tesco’s and she told me everything.

I was talking to a friend on Saturday when I saw an old man walking towards us.

My friend  said hello to him, at  first I thought I didn’t know this old man  then I recognised him it was the unidentified person, and he’s not old he’s just a woman beater, time and Karma are getting their revenge, wouldn’t a normal man who had a loving family be able to ask their wife or child to go to the shop for him because he is barely able to walk .

Well he can’t because they have left him and not only that, the shop that he was running for a few years is at the end of its road, the recession has no mercy on the weak and his shop was always weak, thing is though it could have been a lot better if it had some love in it. Wife and child would be good.

I stared at him for a long time because I couldn’t believe my eyes. He actually looked me in the eye and quite aggressively said “Yes?”   Fuck off  I thought.  Karma

I can identify the man who beat the hell out of me for five years and if he wants to sue me then go ahead Errol Randall father of my two children.  He wont though, he doesn’t have the brains to use the internet. In fact he doesn’t have any brains.

Errol was tall and handsome, light-skinned and slim,  I met him when I was 17, my parents had pissed off to the West Indies and I was left to cope with life on my own, looking for love I fell for the first man who told me that I was beautiful and wanted to be with me, within four weeks I had two black eyes and a lump on the side of my head that felt like a rotten peach.  I should have left him, yes I should have called the police but I didn’t I was a kid.  I stayed and the next five years of my life are what I describe as “The black years”.  I couldn’t think about them for a long time but I’m over that feeling now and I certainly can think about it and I can write about it.

I lost friends over that asshole. I would walk down the road and men that I had known since I was a child would  say hello and I would ignore them.  One male friend was so upset that even now if I see him he just about says hello to me, we were good friends some people would say that he should have been more understanding, but how was he to know that my life was hell I tried to hide it’, I wasn’t very good at it though every one knew  he was beating the shit out of me.

What I’m really try to get at is don’t be an asshole, don’t beat your woman, don’t just settle down with any woman if you really like someone else, do the right thing, but if you do hit and beat your wife and child be warned, you are annoying Karma and you will pay for that Karma does not like people fucking about with it.

Ladies you deserve better, the first time a man ever lays his hands on you leave, walk out the door and never look back, if you think that you can change him you are living in cloud cuckoo land, the first time that he ever hits you will never be the last, it is just the beginning. if you are a young girl and you think that his hitting you is a way of him expressing his love for you, then I can assure you that you are deluded, he actually probably hates you.

If he loved you he would never put his hands on you, that go’s for all relationships, single sex relationships, any relationship that you are meant to be happy in and your meant to be friends.

Ask your self one question.  Would you let your best friend hit you?

 If they hit you they  don’t love you.

I was a latch Key Kid, thank God for the library

When I was a little girl, the library in Sydenham was my sanctuary. My home life was very tense and we were either sent out of the house or couldn’t get into the house. I was a latch key kid.  I was scared of the Librarians who were always very stern, but that didn’t hurt because I have a sense of respect for authority. How many under privileged children have that regard these days. I read everything going, I read every single book by Richmal Crompton, the ‘Just William’ series.  I loved those books they would make me roar with laughter. I had a choice in those days sit on the doorstep and wait for the parents to come home or go to the library, the library won.  So recently with the libraries closing down it has brought back a lot of memories for me.  I have been volunteering lately and one of the libraries was the Pepys Resource Centre in Deptford, a lovely building that was once used as a library and has recently been taken over by Eco-Computer Systems who have introduced a small library. E.C.S have also taken over the running of three libraries that were earmarked for closure, these are Crofton Park, Grove Park, and my old haunt Sydenham

New Cross library was the only one that E.C.S didn’t get.  That one that seemed as if it was to be abandoned and maybe let to a large retail store.  So we must give a big hand to all the campaigners led by the formidable duo, Kathy Dunbar and Gill Hart who were seen for months walking the streets of New Cross gathering support against the closure of the Library.

I was lucky enough to meet these two lovely ladies and become a small part of their dream   I had sat with them when it seemed that they may not win, but every obstacle they faced, they overcame and forged on.

The result New Cross Library is open. I know all the arguments over volunteers running libraries, but believe me I have seen latch key kids using both Pepys Resource Centre and New Cross, I look at those children sitting there reading books and using the computers, and it brings a little tear to my eye without them where would these children sit. Not all children want to join gangs,do you remember the pleasure of reading a book to escape the reality of a hard life, well I do. There is a lovely atmosphere in New Cross it is brimming with people and there are all sorts of activities going on. Knitting club, how to make E.books, story telling for children, it is a lovely space, so if you are around please pop in and show your support.