I hung around with villains, lucky for me we were very good friends

My beautiful son

That would be my son Richie.

He was my love child, a true honest to God Love child. I was with his father for six years before we decided to have him. I adored Richie's father and we had a good time together. He had been my childhood sweetheart. The first time I met him was outside his parents house, I was with my Friend Claudette Cummings and I had gone to his house so she could see his brother who she fancied. Victor was outside and he was very, very handsome, dimples. Cut a long story short we fell in love and had a baby. but three years after Richie was born, Victor started taking Crack Cocaine and became seriously addicted.

We broke up and I got on with life.

Richie was everything I expected in having a baby with Victor, he was handsome and funny and lucky for me we were very good friends , it was great he had my personality I love life and exploring, and his fathers good looks.

I had my daughter from a realationship before getting with victor, but he treated her like his own. When Victor decided he loved drugs more than his family we became a little team. life went on and soon Richie was eleven and Sophie my daughter was seventeen. Richie got cancer and the nightmare began.

I was quite a wild woman, I had loads of female friends and we were a close bunch. we were all quite similar and had the same interests, working class woman who played hard and drank and partied, I was immersed in the underworld just in a gentle way though. The villians of the time were a laugh, not like the horrid, no respect manners of today. But there's no getting away from it, people were always going to jail and a few people got shot, including a friend of mine who was shot dead after he was charged with the largest gain from a street theft of a million pounds, from a City Trader. you can google this and research it yourself. His name was Pat Smith. I had always worked and had quite good jobs. I worked for a film company as a receptionist for five years not letting anybody know that my friends were bank robbers, or blaggers as we called them.

Thing is Richie got cancer and it was a hard time. Then the unthinkable happened Richie was killed in a medical accident. He was having Chemopthrapy, which included the drug Vincristine, a deadly poison. It was accidentally injected into his spine and he died in agony four days later.

again you can google this and research it. His name was Richie William and he died at Great Ormond Street Hospital. It was the most awful, dreadful time of my whole life, nothing will ever hurt me so much, it's impossible

It utterly changed my life. I had a good look at myself and realised what a waste it all was, the villians, the parties, the drinking, the causal cocaine use.

I gave it all up. That wasn't a good life, that was a shit life trying to be something I never was. I'm intellegent and I love life as did my son.

I decided to live the best life I could, whilst being the truest to myself, not false, not hurtful, and use every resource available, after all we are only here for a very short time.

I am not a rich woman so I couldn't build a statue to him, but I could dedicate my life as a tribute.

I stopped drinking, taking drugs and partying, instead I went back to Education and studied what I had always loved Radio and English. This year I start a Masters in Radio at the best University in the world for Media, Goldsmiths. I might not have a statue but I have my life and a son that I made a promise to when he died. I have not let him down and he has not let me down.

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